I've Got The Power

I’d like to introduce myself to you:

My name is Dani, & as you read from the description, I am almost 23 years old. That means for a decade I’ve been self conscious about my weight.

I am not over weight. I am not obese. I am just a girl who feels as though she is too soft & inactive.

I don’t like that my thighs now touch at the top. I don’t like that I can grab fat on my back or that my bra has a bump of skin under it. I don’t like that I hate taking photos now because of my weight, especially full length ones.

I use to be in better shape when I was in college & had access to a gym & a roommate who motivated me.

Now, I live with my boyfriend & we’re fantastic about going out to dinner or eating something delicious that I whip up, but we are less fantastic about being active.

I met him when I was at the weight I’m aiming to get back to. I’m aiming to lose 20 pounds.

He swears he doesn’t notice that I gained weight. And that could be true. I dress to make sure I’m hiding any of the issues I notice with my body.

But I notice it. And I am tired of beating myself up in the mirror privately. I’m tired of grabbing my skin & telling myself I am fat & disgusting. I’m tired of the anxiety I feel when I think that I moved down south & now bathing suit season is 2-3 months earlier.

I have starved myself & taken pills. I had starved myself on and off since I entered high school. I mostly stopped by my junior year of college. 

Then a bad breakup led me to stop eating. Everyone says that if you starve yourself you gain the weight back. All I noticed was if I didn’t eat, I’d wake up with a flat stomach in the morning. And the weight didn’t return even when I did eat. I’d still wake up skinny.

Now, I am going a different route: slow & steady wins the race. With the help & motivation of my college roommate who is 800 miles away, my boyfriend who has now started to become more active with me [although hasn’t changed his eating habits], & a calorie counting/exercise application I am ready to do this the healthy way.

 I have been counting calories & working out for 6 days now & I have lost one pound.

This blog is a place I will come to post motivational pictures, quotes, kick my ass, get advice, learn, find/post recipes, vent, & celebrate any successes.